Openness

 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

 

I'm really bad at being open with people. I know that. For a lot of reasons, I have trouble trusting people enough to tell them things about myself. There's stuff in my life that I just don't talk about because it's not fun to even think about. I don't mean that to sound depressed or whiny, because I really am blessed and I know that. But in the past, I have made unwise choices about who to share the hard things with and it has ended up hurting me in the end. But that was before I really started following Christ. Before I had friends who are, too. Now, I have friends that I'm pretty sure I could trust enough to be open with them about things. So why am I not doing it?

It's really starting to get to me. I'm really starting to realize that my relationships will never get deeper if I'm not willing to share things.

Aside from the fact that it's bothering me, I don't think shallow relationships based mainly on laughing a lot and having fun (which are definitely good things, too) are really what God wants for His people. How are we supposed to support each other along the way if we're not open with each other about our struggles? I've known intellectually all along that God did not intend us to go it alone in our faith. But as time goes on, I realize more and more that is really is nearly impossible to stand strong in faith without allowing yourself to support and be supported by others.

So...that's really what I've been thinking about for a while now and I just wanted to share. I don't know if other people have been feeling this too, but I really think God is nudging me to start being more open. It's going to be so hard for me, but so worth it.