It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.

This world is a dangerous place, and life is a dangerous adventure.
As much as we like to think we have some degree of control over our lives, the truth is that we really don't. There are so many circumstances that we can't control.

We aren't even in control of whether we live or die. There are so many things we do nearly on a daily basis that could end our lives if even the smallest thing went wrong. For instance, driving or riding in a car. Even if you do everything the right way and are extremely safe, who's to say that some other driver on the road will be as careful? What about natural disasters? Lots of people die because of them, who's to say it won't happen to you or me?

This might all come off as really pessimistic and morbid, but I promise that's not at all the point I'm trying to get across.

The point is that the world is a dangerous place over which we do not have control. Why should we pretend that we have everything under control? Why is it so hard for us to admit our weakness? Only then can we realize that deep down we need and want God to be in control.

This is a struggle I face. The closer I get to graduation, the more it bothers me that I don't know what is going to happen to me after I graduate. The future is something that really scares me. But why can't I just realize that I don't have that much control over it anyways and learn to place it in God's hands? He's really the one who should be in control, anyways. He may not promise an easy and comfortable life, but he does promise abundant life. I might not always understand or even like the places He takes me, but those places will always surprise me by being so, so much better than the places I would have taken myself. God has demonstrated this in my life a ton of times before, and I'm pretty confident that He will continue to do it.

It's like every time I feel like my life couldn't get any better, God leads me somewhere else that seems scary at first but turns out to be really wonderful. Every time I tell God what my plans are, He pushes me to follow His instead. And you know something? When I listen and obey, my life becomes fuller and better. I come out of it with no regrets at all. Every time.

So maybe it is a dangerous business, going out your door. But it's also an exciting and fulfilling one, if you are willing to go to the places God calls you. 

Openness

 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

 

I'm really bad at being open with people. I know that. For a lot of reasons, I have trouble trusting people enough to tell them things about myself. There's stuff in my life that I just don't talk about because it's not fun to even think about. I don't mean that to sound depressed or whiny, because I really am blessed and I know that. But in the past, I have made unwise choices about who to share the hard things with and it has ended up hurting me in the end. But that was before I really started following Christ. Before I had friends who are, too. Now, I have friends that I'm pretty sure I could trust enough to be open with them about things. So why am I not doing it?

It's really starting to get to me. I'm really starting to realize that my relationships will never get deeper if I'm not willing to share things.

Aside from the fact that it's bothering me, I don't think shallow relationships based mainly on laughing a lot and having fun (which are definitely good things, too) are really what God wants for His people. How are we supposed to support each other along the way if we're not open with each other about our struggles? I've known intellectually all along that God did not intend us to go it alone in our faith. But as time goes on, I realize more and more that is really is nearly impossible to stand strong in faith without allowing yourself to support and be supported by others.

So...that's really what I've been thinking about for a while now and I just wanted to share. I don't know if other people have been feeling this too, but I really think God is nudging me to start being more open. It's going to be so hard for me, but so worth it.