A short note on humility.

As a recent college graduate, I have been learning a lot about humility. Most of the way through college, I felt like I could basically provide for myself. I didn't really turn to God so much with finances because I always had enough money (granted, that money was loan money that I now have the pleasure of repaying).

Now, though, I am having trouble finding a job. Realizing that I have rent to pay. And interest payments on some of my loans. And I have to do things like buy food and shampoo and toilet paper. The realities of adult life are setting in. 

God has certainly been providing for me lately. But I have issues being humble enough to accept the ways that he's providing for me. In my mind, it makes the most sense for God to just allow me to find a job and have money that way. That's not really how it's happening though. What's happening is that people keep wanting to give me money or just help me out in other ways. Which you would think would sound nice...not working and still having what I need? Awesome, right? But not really. I am extremely EXTREMELY grateful for how generous people are being, because there are people in my life that are really there for me right now. It's just hard to get over my pride. It's hard to just allow God to provide for me without me DOING anything. I'd rather believe I can take care of myself. Self-sufficiency feels good because it feeds the pride that wants to take over my life. It's kind of a rude awakening to be made to realize that it's not about me. 

...but still. Praise God for providing for me and constantly revealing to me the things I haven't surrendered to him yet.